网络与生活的幽默段子

黑的白

1、自从四年前开始喜欢看军事新闻到现在，心脏衰老了几十岁，手机砸烂十几部，睡不好，吃不饱。。。我只想问一句“尼玛的，到底打不打？”
2、网络社交的本质不是沟通，而是炫耀，包括但不限于地位，财富，学识，智商，容貌，品味等，偶尔也会有沟通，但沟通也是为了令对方更深刻理解炫耀的内容。
3、很多很多年以前，有一个词叫“网瘾”，是人们心目中洪水猛兽一样的东西，要被关起来强行治疗的。后来有了智能手机，大家更患上了网瘾，就没人再提治疗的事儿了。。。
4、下班后，一同事一只手打着电话，另一手摸着口袋，突然转身就往办公室跑，边跑边喊：“你们等我下，我手机忘带了！”
笑坏我们了。。。
5、优酷号上
舰长：前方有敌舰，开启武器系统，准备开火！
舰长：为什么还不开火？？？
士兵：武器系统开启前的广告要90秒。。。
舰长：我CTM！
6、腾讯号上
舰长：前方有敌舰，开启武器系统，准备开火！
士兵：。。。舰长，我们只能用冲锋枪和他们拼了！
舰长：什么？咱们的导弹呢？火炮呢？？
士兵：咱们会员过期了，人民币装备用不了了。。
舰长：我CTM！

柊大帝

感谢楼主分享

艾略特亲王

感谢楼主分享

987452111

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Mary丶木子

网红就是网上让人幻想的,一到现实生活中偶遇

真.goodbright

感谢楼主分享

128财源滚滚9982

感谢楼主分享

jalenzhou

谢谢LZ分享